I Don't Want This

Molly James

ARTIST STATEMENT
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In this work titled “I don't want this” my intention is to demonstrate the experience of someone with homicidal ideation as a result of psychosis. This is when someone has homicidal thoughts as a result of their own delirium. These people are viewed as monsters. That is why I painted a gas mask underneath the face. The gas mask is intended to give the viewer a sense of fear. Paint strokes and “blurring” are used to represent the anxiety and confusion that comes along with any mental illness. Some parts of the body are more realistic because someone with this illness has a warped sense of reality. It gets more expressionistic the closer you get to the brain because that is where the illness exists. I sculpted the figure with color to give the work an expressive appearance to evoke emotion. Complimentary colors were used so close together to cause the viewer anxiety. I use lots of this particular shade of purple because that was the color of my room when I was younger. To me this purple represents the hopelessness I felt in that room. In the position the figure is in, he is trying to tear his head off violently because he can't handle his own brain anymore. He's saying, “I don't want this.”